Do Guns and the Reikai Tantei Mix?
by Nitroglycerin
Summary: See title. The Reikai Tantei get some Spirit Energy modified guns. Maybe Koenma should have thought this through a little more, ne?
1. Beginning the Meeting

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho 

Koenma looked at the package on the desk, he still wondered if this idea would send him to an early grave. But it _was_ his idea, and that meant it couldn't fail, could it?

He would find out soon enough.

They would start arriving soon, Botan had to have informed them by now. Koenma sucked on his pacifier a little harder as he thought of what the reactions might be. He was just about ready to hide the box and call the whole thing off when the door opened and Yusuke and Kuwabara walked in.

Too late to go back now, Koenma took some slow, deep breathes.

"Yo, toddler, what is it now?"

Koenma took another deep breath before responding, "you'll find out soon enough, but first Kurama and Hiei have to get here." He prayed that they would take the rest of eternity.

No such luck, they entered almost before he finished.

There was a moment of silence before Koenma cleared his throat and continued, "Well, now that everyone's here, we can move on."

"I have come up with a brilliant idea." Koenma paused to loosen his fingers from the edge of the desk. Botan had suggested it, actually, but he had conveniently 'forgotten' that.

"In this box . . ." Koenma made a valiant, but ultimately futile, attempt to push the huge thing forward. It looked huge to him, at least, but that really wasn't saying much.

"Uh, in this box are some . . . things . . . yeah, things, to help you on your missions. They don't look very special at first, but Spirit Energy, to fit each of you, has been used to alter them." Koenma jumped onto the little space that he had deliberately left on the desk so he could open the box.

They were getting rather impatient; he needed to calm down.

And out of the box came an AK-47, Koenma looked at his notes.

"This one is yours, Kuwabara."

* * *

Hm, a little short. First fanfic, though. Reviews welcomed.

Judging by all the fics with pairings and OC's (and both, of course), I'm hoping that this won't be met with a horde of flames. If I get a single positive review then I will continue this. Perhaps adding a chapter tomorrow.

In any case, this fanfic came from a random conversation and will likely finish soon even if I do continue it. Unless something happens that makes a plot spring up, which is a possibility. Weirder things have been known to happen.


	2. Receiving Firearms

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho

They were just staring at the gun; didn't they know that it was heavy? Koenma's arms were starting to ache with the strain of holding it.

Finally, when he could stand it no longer, Koenma lugged the infernal thing at Kuwabara, expecting him to catch it out of reflex.

Unfortunately, instead of catching it, the big oaf brought his arms up to shield himself from the flying hunk of empowered metal, and Koenma internally railed at his stupidity.

Luckily though, Kurama had thought fast and caught the gun before it hit Kuwabara, who slowly brought his arms down when he didn't feel the impact.

Kurama silently handed Kuwabara his new AK-47, and Koenma was finally able to proceed, and proceed he did.

"As I said, that has been modified through liberal use of Spirit Energy to fit your . . . _style_. All of the guns that you four will receive use bullets powered by Spirit Energy, or Demon Energy, in the cases of Hiei and Kurama. For now, those bullets are already set and ready to use, but later you will need to use your own power to fuel them."

"This particular gun has been modified for Kuwabara. It uses Spirit Energy to fire the gun harder, and, if you'll notice, it's larger than a normal AK-47. That was done without increasing the weight."

Koenma then reached into the box, heaving out a sniper rifle. He knew he shouldn't have let George have the day off . . .

"This one is yours, Kurama."

Kurama stepped up to the desk and relieved Koenma of the gun.

"This one has been modified to have a setting that will allow you to shoot seeds without utterly destroying them. It is also a little lighter than the average sniper rifle."

Kurama stepped back as Koenma took a Colt Python out.

"I'm sure you can guess whose gun this is. Here, Yusuke." Yusuke took the Colt Python and looked at it incredulously.

"Now, you may wonder, why should Yusuke have a Colt Python when he already has his Spirit gun? First, each of these uses minimal amounts of Energy, unless the user chooses to feed them more. So this will actually use less than the Spirit Gun, which would be very useful if your Energy is at a minimum."

"Second, you need all the help you can get on the harder missions."

"And third, because I say so!"

"Now, this has been modified so that it can work in conjunction with the Spirit Gun. When you channel the Spirit Energy through your body and into your finger, you can then channel it right into the gun, the Spirit Energy that was the gun will then boost the shot from the Spirit Gun so that it will go faster."

Koenma leaned into the box to pull out the last gun, an Uzi Pistol.

"And finally, Hiei's gun. Now, since we couldn't test it, we're not sure if the modifications will work, just to warn you. If they do, however, then these settings should allow you to channel your Dragon thing into the gun and let it out in a concentrated beam."

"If they don't work, then in the best-case scenario, nothing will happen."

"What about the worst-case scenario?" Yusuke asked.

"You'll find out if it happens." Koenma said evasively; in the worst-case scenario, the gun would definitely blow up. But how powerful the explosion would be he could only guess.

"Anyway, you each need an instruction manual for your guns. Here." He had just pulled out four small books, and handed one to each of them.

"Here's the ammo for your guns, Yusuke and Kuwabara's should be blue, and Kurama and Hiei's should be black." As soon as they got everything sorted, Koenma hurried on.

"And last, but not least, I'm sending you all on mission to figure out how to use your guns."


	3. They're Still Alive, Amazing

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho

Chapter 3

Yusuke looked at the gun in his hands, he had just figured out (through trial and error, who needed an instruction manual, anyway?) how to use the gun. He had been shooting like a maniac for the past several hours, and only now was the ammo getting low.

He felt vaguely thankful that the gun was so durable; he had gotten frustrated a few times and got tired of taking it out on the burned stumps that, long ago, were known as trees.

He decided to go back to Koenma to restock on ammunition, wearing a grin that would scare anyone sane.

Kuwabara showed his newly polished AK-47 to Yukina; carefully turning so that she could see it at all angles.

She didn't like it much.

"What are they used for, besides killing?" She asked.

"Uh, well . . . they look good! See how it shines? Actually, I think I may have done something to this hole thingy . . . the inside isn't shiny enough . . ." He trailed off into muttering, then stopped and said (louder, quite louder), "Hey, let's get something to eat!"

He tossed the gun over his shoulder and started flexing his muscles.

He had yet to figure out how to use it.

Hiei had, long ago, figured out how to use his Uzi (yes, he did read the instruction manual). He was now glaring at Kuwabara, absently fingering said gun.

_Hm . . . my finger slipped? He looked like one of the targets? Except . . . I didn't use any non-living targets. That makes a nice loophole, actually._

His wishful thoughts trailed off as Kuwabara and Yukina walked inside.

The Uzi had an interesting side effect: when it fired, it was completely silent.

Kurama was quickly growing fond of his gun, as well. He, like Hiei, had read the instruction manual. His grin was almost feral as he shot a seed faster than he could ever throw it. Youko was enjoying this, too. He had found out quickly that when the sniper rifle was set to shoot seeds, it didn't make any noise when it fired, that could definitely be useful.

He suddenly heard his mother calling, time for dinner. He sighed in regret as he walked toward the house.

It had taken at least an hour to explain the sudden appearance of the gun, and she wasn't used to it quite yet.

* * *

Maybe I should have done a little more research into guns . . . ah, well. Please excuse anything that may seem out of place; I'm still getting used to this.

I see a little 'reply' button on each of the reviews, but I'm hesitant about using it, since I have no idea what it does. Besides the obvious, of course.

I have the time to update about once a day, but I'll probably get burned out of ideas at a fast pace if I do that.

When I update, I'll do so on weekdays.


	4. Irritation

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho

Chapter 4

Hiei was irritated. You know, kind of like water's wet. No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn't figure out a way to get around the little 'no killing humans' deal.

But what if he shot the baka without killing him? No, then he'd have to remove the bullets before anyone found out. If Kuwabara was anything, he was stupid, but besides that, he was also sturdy. It would be difficult to knock him unconscious.

Plus, there was the issue of him always being around people.

Maybe destroying a few buildings would make him feel a little better. Any leftover anger could easily be stored away for later use.

Koenma was irritated (but not surprised, of course) that Yusuke came back mere hours after receiving his gun.

Yusuke was irritated that there weren't any more prepared bullets as soon as he came back, and that he had to wait five minutes before getting them.

Kuwabara was slightly irritated: they had exhausted their (or rather, Genkai's) food supplies (second time that week, it was Tuesday), and he was chosen to go shopping. It wouldn't have been so bad if Yukina could go with him, but Hiei had (suddenly, quite suddenly) appeared and mentioned a wounded bird in the forest.

Yukina and Genkai had gone off take care of it.

Kurama was not irritated, but only because he was sleeping.

* * *

In case anyone was wondering, Hiei shot the bird. 


	5. A Mission, And Relative Moderation

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho

Koenma tried to steady his breathing: he had sent the Reikai Tantei on a mission.

It was simple enough: go in, kill some demons, get out alive, just one A-class to worry about at the end.

But then, the guns had never been factored into that kind of equation…

That would make it: go in, shoot some demons, shoot them a little more to make sure that they're dead, shoot them again for good measure, and then curse yourself when you're out of bullets (and that many would make them low on reiki and youki) and facing the A-class.

Oh, yeah, then get out alive.

* * *

George wondered what had possessed him to mention the Reikai Tantei and guns in the same sentence when talking to Botan, who had, of course, let it slip to Koenma. He was just glad that he had managed to get away when they got them. 

If he just hadn't been around that group of ogres when they had mentioned it.

* * *

Here they were, in front of an A-class demon, just after having a slaughter fest. 

The demon was the first to speak; "I see it worked."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Yusuke asked

* * *

Botan was telling Koenma how it had been George's idea, and not hers, to give the Reikai Tantei guns.

* * *

"I have been researching psychology for many years, focusing on the effects of gossip. Through that, along with my abilities, I have given you all something addictive. The demons in the other room were just for you to spend your energy on. Now you are low on energy, just waiting for me to kill you all!" He laughed.

* * *

George explained that he had heard the idea from a group of ogres.

* * *

The Reikai Tantei looked at each other, each knowing what would come next.

* * *

Koenma paled.

* * *

Silence, the silence that came after the extremely violent death, it was a gruesome sight indeed. 

The bloody corpse had plants growing out of most of it, plants that could only survive in meat that had just been deep-fried. That had been after it was shot to pieces, a rather impressive feat by itself.

"A good thing Kurama stopped us from shooting the demons after we made sure they were dead." Kuwabara said.

"You can never be too sure." Yusuke replied.

"Yes, Yusuke, which is why you should save bullets in case there are other demons around." Kurama pointed out.

"Yeah!" Yusuke decided to strike a heroic pose.

* * *

"You're alive!" Koenma was relieved. 

"You're alive!" Botan was relieved.

"You're alive?" George was confused, and relieved.

"Of course! Aren't we always?"

* * *

I try not to make them short, but it's more difficult than it sounds. 

I'm thinking of doing a completely random chapter after this, but I'm not sure. I may just want to end it here.


	6. And It Ends

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or Trigger Happy (by Weird Al)

This will be a kind of song-chapter…

_Got an AK-47, well you know it makes me feel alright_

Kuwabara hugged his AK-47, telling it to wish him luck when he went on a date with Yukina.

_Got an Uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night_

Hiei propped his hands behind his head as he leaned back to sleep, feeling the somewhat comforting gun as it dangled from his hand.

_There's no feeling any greater_

_Than to shoot first and ask questions later_

Yet another mission… Yusuke sighed as he shot the demon one last time. He turned around, just then remembering that he was supposed find out something from it… Koenma could work out the details.

_Now I'm trigger-happy, trigger happy every day_

_Well, you can't take my guns away; I got a constitutional right_

Koenma didn't much like the guns. They could do missions without them, right? No reason to have something so… dangerous.

_  
Yeah, I gotta be ready if the Commies attack us tonight_

The Reikai Tantei begged to differ. The guns killed quicker than they did, after all.

_  
I'll blow their brains out with my Smith and Wesson_

Koenma stopped arguing after they tried to prove it, and left a fine mess in his office.

_  
That ought to teach them all a darn good lesson  
Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day_

_(Oh yeah, I'm) trigger, trigger happy_

_Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy_

_(Oh baby, I'm) trigger, trigger happy_

_Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy_

_(Oh I'm so) trigger, trigger happy_

_Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy_

_Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away_

His friends were talking to him about ruling the streets, again. Maybe he should… Kuwabara shook the notion away; he had better things to do with his beautiful gun…

_Oh, I accidently shot daddy last night in the den_

Oh, no… the Reikai Tantei had given him a gun, still trying to prove their point… now Koenma had accidentally hit Enma with it…

_  
I mistook him in the dark for a drug-crazed Nazi again_

Koenma, knowing that it was futile, tried to convince his father that it was an accident…

_Now why'd you have to get so mad?  
It was just a lousy flesh wound, Dad  
You know, I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day_

_Oh, I still haven't figured out the safety on my rifle yet_

Yusuke was fiddling with this thing on his gun that he still didn't know how to use…

_  
Little Fluffy took a round, better take him to the vet_

And hit Eikichi. Kuwabara was looming over him before he could blink.

_  
I filled that kitty cat so full of lead  
We'll have to use him for a pencil instead_

Kuwabara was actually intimidating this way. Yusuke beat a hasty retreat.

_  
Well, I'm so trigger happy, trigger happy every day_

_(Oh yeah, I'm)trigger, trigger happy  
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy  
(Oh baby, I'm)trigger, trigger happy  
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy  
(Oh I'm so)trigger, trigger happy  
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy  
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away_

No, he wouldn't rule the streets, he still had to marry Yukina… some day…

_Come on and grab your ammo  
What have you got to lose?  
We'll get all liquored up  
And shoot at anything that moves_

Yusuke, once again, tried to get into his mothers store of alcohol… and failed, once again, unfortunately, not only that, but she had decided to use his pistol, and wasn't happy to find him prowling around her stash. Yusuke decided to stay away from home for a day or two.

_Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight  
Oh, I'm prayin' somebody tries to break in here tonight_

It might disturb his mother if she knew that someone had broken in. Kurama quietly told the thief to leave, and not come back unless he wanted to commit suicide. He tried to ignore the itching sensation in his fingers... he wanted to pull the trigger. Good thing he had such good self-restraint.

_  
I always keep a Magnum in my trunk  
You better ask yourself, do you feel lucky, punk?  
Because I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day_

_(Oh yeah, I'm)trigger, trigger happy  
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy  
(Oh baby, I'm)trigger, trigger happy  
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy  
(Oh I'm so)trigger, trigger happy  
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy  
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away_

No, he wouldn't, never mind that Urameshi didn't care.

_  
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away_

But there was nothing wrong with it, was there?

_  
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away_

The streets had to be kept safe for his beautiful Yukina…

_  
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away_

No one argued after Kuwabara pointed his rifle at them.

**The End**

* * *

Yes, Kuwabara learned how to use his gun. 

Well, in the end, Hiei didn't kill Kuwabara. Hope there's no disappointment.


End file.
